No Control

I think I should titled my blog “life lessons you learn as a first time mom,” because that seems to be what I spend most of the time writing about. Last week I learned that I just can’t do it all. This week I’m learning that I can’t control everything. I’m a perfectionist and a control-freak. In addition to that, I also am a scheduler. I like to make schedules and stick to them. So, imagine my struggle as I create a schedule for my darling baby boy, and he doesn’t stick to it. Now, don’t think that I am living in a dream world or something like that, thinking that my baby will always do exactly what I want him to do at a set time. But, I just had it in my mind that creating a schedule for him (and me!) would fix our problems. That it would cause him to nap longer and sleep better. That’s what all the books and online resources tell us after all…

Noah really is doing very well. I just love that little guy so much! He makes me laugh and smile like no one else, especially when he laughs and smiles! I am trying so hard to keep him in a routine because I have been told over and over by others, including our pediatrician, that babies are happiest when they have a set schedule and routine. I know there has to be a lot of room for flexibility. Every day will be different. I have seen a dramatic shift in his personality since we have been attempting to stick to a daily schedule. He is sleeping more often and is able to fall asleep on his own for naps, so I think he is more rested. He has always been a pretty content baby, but I dreaded the time I had to be away from him to teach piano lessons because he would just scream and cry the whole time. It didn’t matter who was taking care of him….he did the same thing for different baby sitters and even his own dad! The past two weeks, there has been a drastic improvement in that. Ever since I created a schedule that even includes activities to do at certain times in the day, I rarely hear him cry when I teach.

His night time schedule has gotten weird. For the past week or two, he would always wake up once a night, between 4:30 – 5:30 a.m. We have had his morning wake up time set for 7:30. He would sometimes wake up briefly before that but would always go back to sleep. However, the last few nights, he has started waking up at 3:30 then again at 6:30. He won’t go back to sleep after 6:30. I wish I just understood better what caused the shift in schedule. (Well…I have some ideas. He’s almost 6 months so maybe it’s time for a growth spurt. He also has had a bit of a cold or maybe allergies – just a runny nose and cough. Or, he’s doing extra chewing on everything so I’m wondering if his top teeth may be starting to come in. It could be one or all of those, or even none. Who knows!) I am not at all being selfish wanting him to sleep until 7:30 so I can sleep in. (I try to get up at 6:30 every morning anyway) I just know that the more sleep he gets the better, and I have read that the ideal wake up time for a baby is between 7 – 8 a.m. I think I may try moving it back to 7 and see how that goes. We got him out of bed this morning at 7:15 (after trying to get him to go back to sleep from waking up at 6:30). I put him in bed for a nap a little after 8:30 this morning, and he is now taking the longest nap he has taken in the past several days. It’s 9:45 and he is starting to wake up though. So, it hasn’t been much longer of a nap.

I feel like all I talk, post, and think about is my baby’s sleep. I guess I never thought I would spend so much time on focusing on sleep! I do have other things to say, but I think Noah’s ready to get out of bed. Maybe I’ll have a chance to write about our past few days (not sleep or schedule related!) later!

I would like to share something I read this morning that encouraged me. In the past couple of weeks, I have been doing my quiet times out of a book called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. They are short daily devotionals (think 2 paragraphs) and seem to be exactly what I need for each day! This is from today’s devotional: “As you go through this day, trust Me to provide the strength that you need moment by moment. Don’t waste energy wondering whether you are adequate for today’s journey. My Spirit within you is more than sufficient to handle whatever this day may bring. That is the basis for your confidence! In quietness (spending time along wiht Me) and confident trust (relying on My sufficiency) is your strength.” 

Have confidence in His strength today and remember that “…surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” (2 Corinthians 4:7b).

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