There just aren’t words to express how I am feeling now and have felt the past 48 hours…I’m just fumbling trying to figure out how to even write this. It may all come out a little jumbled…
(Warning…this is a little sad…well, actually, a lot sad…so if you are the crying type and decide to continue reading, grab your tissues.)
(Don’t worry. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with us…)
Saturday night was like any other night. Brian and I were sitting with the TV on and both looking at either a mobile device or laptop. (I don’t exactly remember, but that’s not important). I saw a post on Twitter by one of the many people I don’t personally know but follow anyway. It was a prayer request for a family. There was a link to a blog, and I was curious, so I checked it out. I thought, if this was something someone was posting asking for prayer for, it must be serious. And, if I’m going to pray, I want to know what exactly I am praying for. I went back to the beginning and read the first few posts.
There I found the story of the Sikes family – Kara and Matthew and their baby boy James. James was born a healthy baby on October 29, 2010, not long after Noah was born. He was born by cesarean 6 days after his due date. Noah was born 12 days past his due date also by cesarean. The Sikes live in the Dallas area I believe. On June 23, 2011, when James was 7 1/2 months old, the family discovered that James had a brain tumor. He underwent surgery to remove the tumor. The parents chronicle all they went through on their blog. Last Tuesday, July 12, they discovered the tumor that was removed was back, only two weeks after a successful surgery. It was a very agressive tumor and had now taken over most of his brain. Kara and Matthew were forced to decide whether to continue to allow their baby to suffer through a few more weeks of treatments that probably wouldn’t result in any improvement, or take their baby home for his last few days on earth. They chose the later, and in the couple of days they were home with him, knowing they would be their last together, they had a birthday party for their sweet baby. He was 37 weeks old. My baby is 39 weeks. Their post on Saturday, 24 days after he was diagnosed, simply said, “At 3:50 P.M. Jamesie beat the tumor. We had our angel for eight months. That’s a long time to spend with an angel.”
I’ve never met this family, but my heart breaks for them. I cannot imagine…
I can’t help but think, what if this was my story? Kara and Brian and baby Noah… What if??
But, it’s not. I am so blessed….
So blessed to have a healthy, happy baby who…
…has only been sick once, one tiny ear infection at 4 months.
…”creeps” (pulls himself along on his tummy) rather than crawls, and just looks so funny!
…as soon as he is put down on the floor in his room, goes right to his basket of musical toys/instruments and wants to play his xylophone and drums.
…loves to laugh, smile, and make silly faces.
…gets super intense and so excited that he begins to shake when he is “reading” books.
…talks and jabbers all the time.
…brings joy to each and every day.
Noah has had sleep troubles the past two nights. I’m not sure why. Sunday morning, he woke up at 5:00 and wouldn’t go back to sleep. Last night, he was awake from about 11:30 – 12:30. I thought about complaining. Then I thought some more… I should consider it a blessing that I am able to hold him and comfort him in the middle of the night. Some mommies can’t do that. So blessed…
He is so active. He just won’t stop moving! He absolutely exhausts me! I should be thankful for that. I have a healthy baby who loves to explore his world. So blessed…
The last 48 hours, I have taken my time reading Noah bedtime and nap time stories. Sometimes we read them more than once even. I have held him longer and hugged him more. I have thanked God more and more for my precious little guy I get to spend every day loving.
I am so incredibly blessed…
P.S. Please take the time to read some of the story of the Sikes family and join me in praying for them. I don’t know them, but I feel like they could be a family I know. Despite their rough journey, they say over and over again how blessed they are and that James was “one of God’s angels on loan to them” and that God “just couldn’t stand to be away from precious James any longer.” Their courage, strength, and faith just amazes me.